How are you?
I was talking with a friend recently about presence and genuineness in conversation when asked this question. We talked about how though we ask and are probably asked this question at least once daily, this moment in conversation is not always as authentic as it could and should be. In fact, many of us ask and respond to this question often on autopilot. We ask it sometimes not truly being curious about the answer. And, we answer it in a way we feel would be most preferred. My autopilot discovered in this regard was not in my asking the question, but in my answering it. And, it was first confronted in one of my acting classes. My professor asked me how I was and, in my usual fashion, I responded, “Good, thank you. How are you?” With a smile. To which my professor responded, “Are you really?” And, thinking back on it, I’m sure there was of course some sort of stressor going on at the moment, but my answer gave no indication of that truth. And, I would come to find that this very way about me would be my challenge for that particular class that semester. The challenge and work to come out of my comfortable space of constant positivity and control. And, that work taught me a lot. I learned that this grip that I have on constant positivity and control doesn’t come from an artificial place. It comes from a spirit of optimism, and a need to keep it together. Let’s be real. We all go through some stuff. We are all going through some stuff right now. And, if we are not, you better believe some stuff is waiting to meet us around the next corner. Some stuff being minor in the bigger picture. Some of it seeming inescapable. And, we all respond to our stuff in different ways. So, how are you? Are you present and honest when asking and answering this question? And, how do you respond to your stuff? How do you respond to hardship and the uncomfortable?
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