“You need to have a high level of focus in the midst of the noise today. If you don’t, you will lose yourself.”
I was talking with a loved one this past week about all the noise and chaos that go on in our world, that can seriously distract us if we are not careful. We are constantly facing distraction. In the media. In our minds. Constantly surrounding us. We are constantly met with the opinions, experiences, ignorance, awareness, agendas, and suggestions of others. We are constantly facing our own fears, insecurities, and truth. And, given this constant stimuli, we are forever in a position to choose what we give our attention and focus to. We are forever in a position to choose what we give power. We are living in an immensely divided society, where the focus is placed more on being proven right as opposed to doing what is right. A society that tries to tell us what and how to be, as opposed to focusing on what and how we can all individually contribute to this space to make it what it should be. We live in a society where our magnitude is stifled. Which is why our ability to focus is vital. Whatever your goals and dreams are, keep it simple and stay focused. Trust in your capability and worthiness to bring greatness to this space, and to leave it better than you found it. Clear out the clutter within and around you. And, don’t be afraid of getting side tracked, because it can and will happen. Instead, embrace the falls, and allow them to propel you in strengthening your resilience. Life is made up of a series of choices. So, keep it simple, stay focused, and choose wisely in truth.
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“Not having people you can really trust leaves you with that vulnerable feeling of being in a field surrounded by wolves.”
My sister said this while we were talking recently about the quality of love and relationships in life compared to quantity. As we mature, our view of and relationship with our relationships change. We gain a better understanding of the love and energy we want and need around us. We hopefully learn the difference between expectations and standards, and place our focus on the latter. With the circumstances of adulthood, we see how much effort our relationships require in order to be maintained and continue to grow. And, with all this considered, we are able to clearly see our relationships where they are. We also see how precious and rare the truly full relationships in our lives are. In a society where abundant effort isn’t necessarily required to technically connect with people, we can sometimes lose sight of the work necessary to achieve full connection in our relationships. And that, coupled with our own obstacles, can make healthy relationships sometimes difficult to achieve and come by. Which can leave us feeling vulnerable and alone. Which is why it’s vital to know and set our standards, work for, and be good to the relationships in our lives where love lies. Not every relationship we have will last the course of our lives. Some will find us where we least expect them, during a time we need them most. Some we will grow up in and grow out of. Some will be established by blood yet feel lifeless. Some will span seemingly infinite time and space. Some will keep us laughing even when we don’t want to. Some will take us on our greatest of adventures. Some will teach us the biggest lessons of our lives. Whatever the conditions of our relationships, may we treasure and nurture the love and friendship in them. May we build and rest them on a foundation of honesty, accountability, presence, reliability, respect, and appreciation. May we not get solely caught up in obtaining relationships, but in actually preserving our relationships of value. I say, even if I have only one true person by my side in a field of wolves, I’d rather that than a crowd of people whom I’m not sure are there for me or the wolves themselves. Being on this constant journey of self-discovery, living in my truth, and unleashing it all, I have been making some changes. And, one of those changes—though minor in the grand scheme of things—has been remodeling and honing my content and overall presence on social media. Now, with different mediums operating various ways, obviously this has manifested differently across all networks. All of which depicting more of me in my truth. And, you know what I have noticed?
As I have been gaining new people to connect with along this process, I have also been losing several folks. All of this leading me to thinking even more about our relationship as people to social media and technology in general. Now, if you know me, you know how helpful and hampering I think social media and technology are. And, how for someone like myself, who has chosen the career path that I have, it can truly be a bane of my existence. But, alas, it seems to be a necessary evil. Especially given some people are now actually using social media presence to influence their casting, as opposed to talent and fitting the role. (Yay, actor friends, as if there weren’t enough factors already.) But, outside of this, with this loss of some folks in cyberspace as a result of what I know to be me being more vulnerable and, frankly, attempting to soar more in my fierceness, I could not help but to take and share these three invaluable and critical truths... One: Never seek your worth from social media. Two: Not everybody is going to dig your truth. Three: Social media will never be real life. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are many of us who are not afraid to get to the real, even from behind the comforts of our screens. (Shout out to those of us doing it, I see you, I love you, and you all are the real MVPs.) There are also folks who cannot be real off of social media. But, I say all of this to encourage us to tap more into, and not get disconnected from the real. I say this to encourage us to soar in our fierceness, on and offline, no matter who likes, loves, double taps, thumbs up, thumbs down, shares, retweets, subscribes, follows, or unfollows. We all use social media either to add unto ourselves, other people, or a little bit of both. And, whatever your reason may be, I encourage you to keep on keeping on. Just don’t lose sight of what’s real. So, as for me? Whether that means continuing to hit you with my mission of spreading love via encouragement and accountability, doing a little stream of consciousness on Twitter, or posting 6 to 9 puzzle pieces a day on Instagram to build mosaics for shots that just don’t look quite as good in one post; I’m going to keep on keeping on. And, I encourage you to do the same. They may not dig you on the other side. But, you better seek to be true before being liked. I promised myself that when I graduated, I would embark on the journey of fully coming into my own. Taking on the journey of complete self-discovery, and hopefully seeing myself and the world in the truest and healthiest way possible. Surfing the biggest wave of growth yet. Now, don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled at the idea of being out of school so that I could finally focus on what’s next, and perhaps even—I don’t know—sleep. But, the paramount benefit was actually having the freedom to focus on my freedom, and finally realize and pursue my full potential and mission in this vast space. And, you know what the best part about all this has been?
That none of it has gone as expected. I’m a planner. I love organization. And, with that, I obviously love for things to go as planned. But, in the absence of this preference... of comfort... of control... I realize that I am achieving my ultimate goal even more. I have been more propelled into giving more love and focus to all my passions, as opposed to one. I have been lead to diversifying my skill set. I have been learning to demand more and settle less, and more than that, actually doing so. I have been seeing more of where the real is. I have been finding more of my truth in the unexpected and what I don’t know. Which is both frightening and calming. But, I realize that in this boundless ocean, we never know what wave is going to come. All we can do is read it once it appears and go from there. And, who knows, it might be our most perfect one yet. |
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