I have come to realize that the older I have gotten, the clearer I have come to see and understand my mother. Through the eyes of a child, a mother is weighed by what she does for that child, how she fulfills their wants and needs. Through the eyes of an adult, a mother is weighed by who she is as a person. I have come to no longer view her in a selfish way as a child, but in a loving and understanding way as a woman. Her sacrifices, compromises, mistakes, accomplishments, ups, downs, and everything in between have made me not only love her beyond the expression of words, but continuously grow a burning desire to work to contribute to her greatest happiness. I live to one day prayerfully contribute to and see her completely bask in all that she decided to cut short in order to take on the mission of motherhood. She is forever held high and appreciated.
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When Duck on The Five Heartbeats said, “A critic said, 'Donald Matthews will be a great writer one day when he suffers more.'“ I felt that.
When it comes to art and artists, there seems to be a glorification of pain and suffering. The idea that the best artists are those who are experiencing, or have experienced the most hardship. Mary J Blige has always been a resonating example of this for me. To this day, she is still believed to have been at her best, artistically, during a time when she was hurting the most. Pain is a strong tie that binds, yes. A reason why we root for the underdog. Pain is relatable, which provides an immense opportunity for empathy. Which, very often, if not always, is a goal when making art. But, what does this mean for artists? To be quite honest, many of my greatest breakthroughs with my craft have stemmed from pain, whether I knew it or not at the time. And, even now I wonder what would happen to my technique if I never again experienced or knew how to connect with my pain. But, again, what does this mean? Because, the thought of myself or any other artist not being as successful or able to connect as strongly with joy and peace as fuel, as opposed to pain, is quite terrifying. |
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